Friendship



The quote in the picture pretty much sums up my feelings towards friendship … over the past year (which has been quite tough at times) I really have found out who my true friends are.

My friends are the ones who have stood there, asked me the awkward questions, pushed for answers. Listened to me when I needed to just talk and get things off my chest. 

They’re the ones who ask if I am OK as they rush past chasing their own children because they’re juggling life just as much as I am.

The people where keeping in touch is a mutual effort, where the physical distance between our day to day lives means there’s no automatic crossing point. Where meeting up is just us sometimes … not turning every coffee into a playdate where adult conversation is impossible.

Where the solution to “I can’t I’m afraid, I’ve got my child with me that day / that afternoon.” isn't to say “Just bring her with you.” Every – single – time.

Because sometimes, you just needed a couple of hours to just be you. Not Mam.  Not Mrs X.  Just 'me'.

Were the people who walked in to my life this past year the people I thought they would be? Some yes, many (most?) no.

In some instances the complete opposite turned out to be the case. People I thought I'd built a mutual friendship with over 5 - 6 - 10 even 12 years walked away.  They’re the people I no longer see, or only see because living in a small town, where everyone and everything is interlinked like spaghetti makes it impossible not to.
When you manage to maintain the mask of happiness in public, because you know if it slips, it’s gone. When you pretend to be happy, everyone assumes that you are. Because you’ve not been able to talk to anyone. And the ones you’ve tried talking to, haven’t heard what you’re trying to say.  
 

The biggest thing I learnt this past year is that life often makes it difficult, when you’re living it, to distinguish between your true friends, and people you just see often and spend a lot of time with for other reasons. That when you’re struggling to juggle life, family and work you don’t always realise that.

Because, with a small child in tow, conversation is stilted, and difficult subjects tend to be avoided.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Plus je vieillis ...

Image
One of my friends shared the Jamie Lee Curtis quote a while ago on FB, and, basically, it set my head thinking a lot. This year has been full of drama of various kinds, not least because of all the chaos caused by COVID.  As a result, this year has been hard.  Really hard.  Between juggling expectations, the constant moving goalposts, as well as general family life, this year has been one I don't ever want to repeat. I've learnt a lot about me though too.  And some of the things that I've learnt are that I am actually a lot tougher than I ever believed.  Yes, it's not always been an easy ride, and getting to the middle of December has been a roller coaster of epic proportions, but, generally, I have come out of it mentally tougher than I went in. I was struck by Jamie Lee Curtis' sentiments.  They pretty much sum up what I want out of life; to relax in my own home, surrounded by people who are supportive and that I know I can turn to when I need to, without...
Read more

When school feels a bit like the Hokey Kokey

It's been a while since I last wrote a blog post. Mainly because, as a family, we've spent most of our time together. In the house, juggling work, study, playing with a baby and home teaching a 7yo.  Like most families, that juggling act has taken a bit of time to get used to. But we've got there. With a bit of 'ooops' when you've got 3 TEAMS meetings overlapping 🙈 Now though, it seems that we are facing being forced to send our children back to school*. And, here in Wales at least, the threat of an extended school term, taking away our children's relaxation time because someone, somewhere, has decided that they are 'behind'. Behind what exactly? OK, we, as a society might have to concede that many of our children aren't currently keeping up with the target driven curriculum that has been constructed for them.  And yes, there will be a minority of children who really do need additional intervention that is realistically only possible in a school...
Read more

Lockdown Christmas

Image
  This year, getting to Christmas has been tough.  For someone who usually throws themselves at the festive season with gusto, this year has seemed a lot like a damp squib, for many reasons. This year, it's my eldest's Dad's turn for actual Christmas day.  And that means that she will miss most of her sister's first Christmas day.  OK, her sister probably won't remember.  But she will.  So we'd planned to do lots of the fun Christmas stuff before the day itself.  Except COVID had other ideas.  And our pre-Christmas out of the house activities were curtailed by the phone call from school telling us that my eldest needed to isolate for almost the entire pre-Christmas period.  So no walks to see the twinkly lights.  No trip to town to see the window displays.  No dash to the shop to buy the new star for the top of the tree. The final blow came when, a week ahead of schedule, Wales was plunged into lockdown-3 with only a few hours' warn...
Read more