Helicopters


OK, so the post title could possibly be seen as misleading. But basically, this post is about me, as a parent.

A few days ago I read an article from the Guardian, https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/jul/23/john-marsden-on-the-toxic-parenting-pandemic-ive-never-seen-this-level-of-anxiety and it really made me think.

John Marsden refers to toxic parenting. That we seem to be over-cautious and over protective. He suggests that by limiting our children's exposure to fear, to danger, that we are hampering their ability to develop the skills required to be independent as they get older.

I'm the first to admit that there are times when I am the stereotypical over-protective parent. Sometimes, I've stepped in to 'solve' my LG's problems when I probably shouldn't have (and I'm pretty certain mine wouldn't have).  But, in today's society, it's actually pretty difficult to not intervene when our own parents wouldn't have.

I've stood in the playground after school, watching, telling my LG to just go to tell her friends she doesn't want to do something, or ask them to stop if she's upset. Only to watch, moments later, as the parent of the other child walks over and sits inches away from their play, directing it to suit their perception of 'proper' parenting, whilst glaring at me for not doing so.

I've had people come up to me to tell me that I've 'forgotten' my LG in the library... Whilst she's sat colouring in the corner, and I can see her, while I go to choose my books after we've chosen hers. And letting her go to the counter on her own to sign her own books out (that's just around the corner)... Don't even go there 😏

But the other Mam's stood around the "climbing tree" outside school... We just chat and hope for the best... Whilst holding our breath and hoping we don't have to catch a falling child 🙈

But as much as I try and want to give my LG freedom, society around me seems to want to stop me. For every inch of freedom I give my LG, there's someone telling me she's too young. That she shouldn't be doing XX, that it's too dangerous.

We need to embrace calculated risks again. To let our children experience minor setbacks in their play, their plans. To let them decide for themselves (at least sometimes) whether or not they CAN do something. To give them the problem solving skills they'll need as they get older.

Comments

  1. Norman28 July 2019 at 18:19

    Totally agree with this lovely......Let them learn themselves how to interpret and assess risk, within reason anyway! x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MamiRhedeg28 July 2019 at 18:24

      Definitely. And to learn to deal with minor conflicts themselves not just run to find someone to sort it out.

      Delete
  2. Amy29 July 2019 at 12:06

    People suck. The longer I'm a parent the more I'm discovering it. I don't understand how people can have an opinion on my parenting but are not willing to stop someone chucking rubbish on the floor. You're one of my parenting role models hun, and I have a feeling I'm going to have an independent lady here too ��

    ReplyDelete

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