Gardens

OK, so, if looking out your window is anything like looking out of mine today, then you're probably wondering why I'm writing about gardens on a day that we're pretty much guaranteed to not be using them ... so here goes ...

For years I battled a garden space that never seemed to work.   From the time my LG was born, it seemed to become unuseable in any consistent sense as a family space, with the main spaces being building sites and unsuitable for children playing in them for years.  The planting itself was time consuming to manage, and with much of it being hidden away from sight of the house, felt like a total waste of time, but one that had to be done else the whole house looked neglected.  

The most disheartening part, was, that although I spent a LOT of my time in that garden, trying to make it useable, so that it was a relaxing space that my LG could play in, because 'all' I did was the maintenance, not the showy bits, noone ever once told ME that I'd obviously been busy in the garden.  That there was obviously a lot of work done.  

I came to hate that garden.  Hate the fact that it sucked the life out of me, that I never ever got to properly relax and enjoy it, because it really wasn't designed or set-up in a way that let me do that.

This year, for the first year in a very long time, I've actually enjoyed being in the gardens of the houses I've lived in.  All this has made me think about what's important to me in a garden.

OK, so there's been an awful lot of garden clearance involved to start (in the first one), but, once completed, it was actually a useful, practical space to be.  And also calming for the most part.

My new garden is totally different from the last, but still makes me want to be in it.  Even when it's raining.  Standing at the top of the garden gives me a view of the valleys and hills around my house, as well as the forest and the old graveyard behind.  But it's a calming, welcoming place to be.  And the layout of the gardens means that we've been able to meet our neighbours easily, in a stress-free way, as we all potter about outside.  

2 gardens later, and I'm quite happy to spend time pottering around my garden.  Weeding, sorting, playing with my LG.  Drinking cups of tea on the bench outside my kitchen window, and planning what we want to grow, and where, ready for next year.

So what's changed?

I'm still pretty much useless at actual gardening.  I can just about recognise a blackberry bush, blackcurrants and an apple tree ... the peas, strawberries and tomatoes as well as the rhubarb that's already planted in our garden ... but I do also know my limits, and will ask for help (and I get it in spades), and my OH is far better than I am at knowing what plants we want (and identifying those that we don't).  

The biggest change is that even when we've been sorting and clearing the garden spaces, that we've still had a useable garden.  One that actually inspires you to use it as part of family life.  

So what do I want in a garden?  One that I can use.  That I can sit and read a book in, watch my LG playing.  One that pootling about in is enough to keep on top of the work without it getting too much.  

Most of all, one that means that we can all enjoy it, together.  That we can relax in.  That we can, when the sky isn't one big waterfall, all be in, together, or doing our own thing.  That expands our house, and gives us outside space that we can use.  And that we all use and enjoy, and that we could, weather permitting, invite friends to enjoy with us.