Mami Rhedeg

So, today I realised, for the first time, how relaxing actually just spending time with my LG actually can be... The first time in 3.5 years I haven't felt the need to plan the school holiday day like a military operation, just get things done and not worry if things run a bit late. After all, there's no one standing there clocking us in and out, it's the holidays...  It's been a long time coming. Starting with relaxing into our new home. Living in a place that, whilst it has everything we do need in it, doesn't have a whole pile of things that we don't. Ultimately, that our home has space to let us breathe, to just be there, and that makes our lives so much more relaxed.  Today though, hasn't exactly been 'quiet'. But it has been relaxing. We've done all the things we wanted to (and a few more besides). But without the stress and franticness that have characterised previous school holidays where we've been at home.  I no ...

I spent my work day today at a Mental Health and Wellbeing workshop led by Canna Consulting .  Not being sure what to expect, but rather than being heavy duty, it was enjoyable and fun. Far from being dismal and overwhelming - the workshop made me think, a lot.  About what we do, how we prioritise life ... and, basically, hammered home the fact that actually, we can all be pretty bad at putting ourselves first - because we live in a world that prioritises how we work, how much we're prepared to put ourselves out for others.  In short, we seem to have lost sight of understanding that we are equally as important as the others we are trying to help.   The key thing that was repeated over and over again - talking.  The importance of talking to people about what's going on, how we're feeling ... not bottling things up and putting a brave face on it.  Things that will come naturally to some more than others.  But is that because we keep bein...

October 10th is my birthday. It's also Mental Health Awareness day.  Pertinent really. Given I've spent much of the past few years pretending that everything was fine, when really I was falling apart. Smiling in public, crying myself to sleep.  Too many times when I summonsed up the courage to talk to people, I got brushed off. "We've all been through it. You'll get used to it... I need to talk to X." "It's normal. We all get it from time to time."  "Why don't you just take a day off for yourself?" I cried. I cried in people's kitchens. I cried on my own sofa. I cried in the shower. I cried in my office.  And once I did finally break. The most common thing I heard... "Why didn't you just say something?" Because I'd tried. I really had. But, the harsh reality is, no one listened. Or if they listened, they didn't hear.   Because when we ask people how they are, what we expect to hea...

This is another self-indulgent post. About me. Actually believing I can do things again. Sometimes. Not quite always. I've only just realised that, whilst battling depression and anxiety, working and raising a small child, I managed to complete my postgrad, with distinction. And virtually no fanfare. Most people didn't even realise that I'd been studying, writing essays and had completed a research project, all in 9 months. As well as everything else at home.  Fast forward a few years, and the past few months at work have been busy. Really busy. And reminded me why I love my job so much. And that I'm actually good at it. Really good. Something I doubted for a long time. Something that I lost confidence in over the past few years, after being told "but you only work part time", "why do you need to do that".  Now, I just need to convince myself that I can sew. Because sewing relaxes me. But I haven’t done any proper projects for a long time.....