Breastfeeding babies

                                                    

Feeding babies is a journey all parents make, and how we do it is a decision we take, which then hopefully works for us.  

I breastfed my eldest until she was nearly 2 years old.  I stopped because I physically couldn't cope any longer ... because when you're back in work nearly full time, with a 2 year old and no local support network, it's a killer.  

The start of that journey was fraught.  I almost gave up when she was less than a week old ... except one of my friends was a BFN trained supporter, and came and sat in my living room that Good Friday and sorted me out enough to cut through the sleep deprived fog and get me started properly.  Once established, it was easy(ish) and usually not painful. 

But, we live in a contradictory society.  And once my eldest was approaching 6 months old, people stopped being supportive of the breastfeeding, and saw it as some sort of crazy thing to do.  After all, why bother after that?  It just means you can't go out ... 

We'd tried combination feeding, but that didn't work.  She didn't want anything out of a bottle.  So I kept feeding.  I would probably have kept going longer if society in general was more supportive 7 years ago.  More understanding.  

At some point, I sat down and completed the BfN peer supporter training.  I turned up and helped other Mams - even just talking to make it normal.

Now, and lg no2 is here.  She is also being fed.  This time getting started was easier.  Because I was more relaxed.  But it still isn't always a walk in the park.  I clock watch.  I work out what her routine is (for today).  I keep a mental tab on how much it's changing.  I know how often she's fed, whether she's fed a lot or just snacked.  I'll never know how much she's actually eating though!

She comes everywhere with me - unless I time a short stint to the shop or for a run expertly into the feeding gap.  Is it stressful sometimes?  Yes.  More so this time because having a pandemic baby means no trip to the shops together, no meeting friends for coffee or lunch, no getting out and talking to other new Mams and sharing experiences.  It's meant being cooped up for months, with minimal if any contact with anyone else.  

But actually, those nights spent cuddling and feeding were great.  They gave me a focus that I might not otherwise have had.  Hopefully I'll be able to feed lg2 for at least as long as lg1, but ultimately, that's something we both have to figure out as we go along.