Lockdown was actually easier

Raising children is never easy.  But raising children in the midst of a global pandemic which shows no sign of easing adds another layer of difficulty for parents.  Because every day is essentially one huge risk management project on top of the things we were expecting to deal with.  All of a sudden, the thought of a trip to the playground brings its own interesting thought processes into play.  

The original lockdown in March was actually easier to understand, compute and navigate than the restrictions we currently have. 

As with all aspects of parenting though, how we choose to categorise and prioritise activities, and how risky we deem them to be varies from person to person.  But managing the COVID risks is something new.  And as its so new, we keep having to change our approach, change our decisions, based on the latest guidelines and advice.  

We are all currently managing the risk, the threat that COVID-19 brings to our own families.  All looking at different activities and combinations of activities and asking the same questions ... What is the risk?  Can I minimise any negative outcomes associated with this risk?  Is the activity worth it based on the risk involved?

Unlike many other questions though, we all get very different answers.  All based on our own individual set of circumstances, our families, their needs and medical histories.  We all give different assessments of the necessity of the activities and their relative levels of riskiness.  So we come to many different answers.  What I deem too risky, may be fine for another.  And vice versa.  

At present, we need to teach our children, especially the older ones, how to take smart risks.  Because everything we do each time we step outside our own front door is risky, but there are ways we can mitigate and limit the risks we take.  

The only way I can manage the crazy of the current situation is to split activities and situations into 3 pots ... essential risks - acceptable risks - unnecessary risks.  

It's the distinction between acceptable and unnecessary that seems to divide us most.  Because we are all having to weigh up what we consider to be acceptable.  

Technology has been invaluable in maintaining contact.  But it can only replace so much for so long. And my priority is keeping my girls away from unnecessary risks. 

My essential risks are few.  Namely going to work / school, food shopping and medical appointments.  

Everything else falls into one of the other two categories.  Even seeing my own family in person. You can't control others' decisions. And sometimes tough choices have to be made. 

I haven't eaten inside a cafe or restaurant.  We've avoided indoor attractions, and stayed home during the peak of the tourist season in our home town.  I can't bring myself to even consider taking my youngest to softplay given everything she sees she puts in her mouth.  The few friends and family we've seen, have been outside.  No matter the weather.  

My biggest anxiety is the guideline / rule which says that children under 11 don't need to social distance. They may not HAVE to, but in some circumstances, it might be sensible to. My 7yo's school class bubble (of nearly 30) is a necessary risk. One that as a family we all have to take. Ordinarily I would encourage my 7yo to make friends and meet new people. But not now. Because the more people we have in close contact, the more chance we have of transmitting, possibly unwittingly, the COVID virus. 

None of my friends have held my baby. Not a single one. They have only seen her. There has been no discussion. They have all taken it without saying that in the middle of a pandemic, babies are not for passing around. But that in itself hurts. Because some of the people closest to me, are still waiting for their baby cwtches. Something which now looks unlikely to ever happen. 

What we need to remember, is that we all have our reasons.  And that we need to respect each other's decisions.  Accept them.  And not try to force our version of the decision on others.  That means accepting that sometimes, some of the things we see as acceptable risks, our friends and family don't.  Accepting their choices and not trying to force them into things we would do but they don't want to.  

The less we blur the edges.  The fewer activities we engage in in general.  The more likely we are to get chance to give our children a taste of the childhood they are currently missing before they're too old to enjoy it.