"mumbod"

                                        

I, like many other women, am going through the process of learning, once again, to love my post baby body shape.  Society though, seems to have an obsession about women's bodies, and postpartum body shapes are not left out of this.  We've even coined a term ... "Mumbod".  Used to define the body of a woman who has given birth ... so technically, any woman who has given birth has a "Mumbod".   We tell women how good they look at the end of pregnancy.  As though it's only by telling us that it can be true.  But then, society (not so) secretly keeps an eye out on how long it takes to regain the pre-pregnancy version of our figure after giving birth.

The number of posts that appeared (unsolicited) on my Facebook feed that are tagged as 'Mumbod' over the past few months has been huge (probably because the Facebook algorithm has worked out I've just had a baby).  With the latest release, by Katy Perry, of her own images, many older ones have now resurfaced again.  BUT, and this is the crucial bit, those posts are actually making me feel bad about myself.  And here's why ...

As someone who has in the past struggled with my weight, and have worn everything from a size 14/16 to a size 6, I really find them all to be really judgemental.  The unsuspecting comments or glances are particularly difficult if you’re like me and already have an almost constant flow of negative commentary within  you about your body image.  The postpartum months, are for me, mentally, emotionally and physically exhausting.  Without external influences on the internal battle to learn to love my new body can be a bit much.  

The posts talking about how people who do go back to their pre-baby size and celebrate it are providing a false idea of what's achievable postpartum are having a huge effect on me.  The articles stating that images of women who have 'bounced back' to their pre-baby bodies are unrealistic are mentally scarring. Because, for the most part, I am one of them. 

It seems as though the posts asking us to celebrate our "new" bodies (that I have seen at any rate) all include references to the pressure to be back to our previous size.  If anything, I've found it to be the opposite.  Because I shrunk back fairly quickly, I had limited if any clothing that was suitable for feeding in ... struggled to juggle being small with needing looser clothing.  

For exercise purposes, you're considered postnatal until 6 months after you've finished breastfeeding, or 6 months after birth (whichever is latest).  So because I started kicking myself into going out again fairly early on, because I wanted to, led to people making comments about me actively trying to get back to my pre baby body.

The misplaced emphasis that society places on weight loss as a positive even when there is evidence to the contrary. Weight loss can be a manifestation of physical illness and emotional issues, all common for postpartum women. We congratulate women for losing weight. We don't see their pain, their fears, the trauma they carry, only their body shape. 

Am I back in the clothes I want to wear?  For the most part, yes.  My weight stabilised for the first time when my eldest was around a year old, and it has stayed fairly consistent since then, so I'm able to wear (some of) my normal clothes.  Yes, my size has gone back to something close to what it was before ... but my body itself is still adapting.  From the outside at least, I look no different.  But, inside, it's a whole different story.